The Mommy Diaries - Chapter One

Its that time of the year when everyone takes a look at the year gone by and tries to assess how they fared. This post is my attempt to assess my journey of motherhood to see how I'm doing as a new mom. The term "new" here has little to do with duration and more to do with the fact that each day I learn something new about parenting. Now that 3 months have passed, I can make a list of all my learnings and accomplishments – much like a quarterly appraisal. Even the ambitious title of this post "Chapter One" is a self goal to motivate me write further chapters. So here's what my parenting quarter feels like...

I guess all moms remember their first "mommy" moment. For some it is seeing the first USG image of their baby. For some it is feeling the baby kick. For some it is seeing the positive result of their test. Mine was when the stubborn 2nd line didnt show up on the stick. Knowing that I wasn't pregnant made me realize how much I wanted a baby. My husband took one look at my face and summed up our thoughts beautifully – "Now we know we're ready". #Mommymoment1.

A woman's instinct is almost a supernatural force. A mother's instinct is...well...the mother of all instincts. My mother's instinct kicked in quite early. I knew the result even before I took the test. And this time when those 2 glorious lines popped up, we both jumped for joy. #Mommymoment2.

Then started the anxiety attacks. Are people staring at my belly? Will I be a good mom? What if my baby doesnt like me? What if I don't know how to soothe him when he cries? The list goes on. Google became my best friend as I dutifully read up on all possible websites what to expect while I'm expecting. Week by week, the big day crept closer. And then one fine Wednesday, he was here. My baby boy – perfect, innocent, loved by all. #Mommymoment3.

Motherhood changes a person completely. You realize that there is this little person who's looking up to you for everything – from food to life lessons. You realize that you have to be the kind of person your child would want to emulate. So a lot of definitions and priorites suddenly change. A poop colour chart becomes a valuable tool while daily cartoon mails take a backseat. You became very aware of noise and can differentiate between normal quiet and baby quiet. Baby quiet is way more difficult to attain than nirvana. Discussing baby bowel movements with friends and family seems like perfectly normal conversation. For a person who loves sleeping in, I can now go from REM sleep to wide awake in 5 seconds. My sense of hearing is now on par with the world's best SONAR systems. I can sense when my kid is breathing too loudly or if he's scratching his nose. My arms have developed increased tensile strength from holding and rocking the baby. Since I'm holding the baby in one hand, I've become agile enough to use all possible limbs (and fingers) while retrieving stuff around the house. Yes, you can call me Batmom.

The first day at home, the first smile, the first finger grip, the first time you hold your child in your arms, the first bath, the first vaccine, the first burp, the first hiccups, the first family photo, the first fever, the first tear, the first time he says maa (or anything close enough). With each milestone, you become more confident and at the same time more anxious about what's in store. With each passing day, I feel like i've learnt a little bit more about this person who was once a part of me and is now the best of me.

Xacuti memories

By 2010 summers I have already put a tick beside some of the best destinations of Europe like the United Kingdom, Scotland, Ireland, Netherlands, Belgium, France & Italy. Thanks to my pervious organization, I have covered some places which I have never dreamt of. By 2010 end I have been to Rajasthan, thanks to my lovely wife. We called it a honeymoon trip. So now my attention was on the geographical location between 14°53′54″ N and 15°40′00″ N and longitudes 73°40′33″ E and 74°20′13″ E. This is what I called a friend’s reunion. After months of planning & checking on availabilities we were short listed to a group of 6 who would stack another 3 days to their happy days racks.

Karishma: Met in the winters of 2009. Went crazy & got married to me in the winters of 2010. Hence in Kolkata.


Prachi: Met in winters of 2009. Presently in Pune.


Sourabh: Met in winters of 2009.Presently in Thane.


Neha: Met in summers of 2009. Presently in Bangalore.


Soumik: Met in 2002. My old college pal. In Kolkata.

I am not mentioning any dates as half of the group had kept this trip a secret due to organization policies of leaves.

With airfares too high a price for me, I had to turn to the largest Indian Industry. This later turned out to be a pleasant surprise. I have not been to my in-laws post my knot. So, to Goa with a pit stop in Pune was a good option.

I’ll provide the travel details & other contacts for reference.

Hwh Pune Duronto -12222 Howrah Jn Pune Jn [Starts Howrah Jn (HWH) 08:20 am; Reaches Pune Jn (PUNE) 11:35 am]


Howrah Duronto -12221 Pune Jn Howrah Jn [Starts Pune Jn (PUNE) 15:15; Reaches Howrah Jn (HWH) 19:40]


Goa Express -12780 Pune Jn Vasco Da Gama [Arrives Pune Jn (PUNE) 16:20; Departs 16:30 10 min stoppage; Reaches Madgaon (MAO) 05:40 Departs 05:45 5 min stoppage]


Ers Pune Expres -12519 Madgaon Pune Jn [Arrives Madgaon (MAO) 17:00; Departs 17:10 10 min stoppage; Reaches Pune Jn (PUNE) 05:50 am]

IRCTC gave me the biggest shock. Duronto turned out to be 99% more hygienic than the normal trains. The quality & quantity of food provided in Duronto was something even some International flights would cater. Breakfast [bread, double omelette, frech fries & boiled peas, jelly, butter, mango juice, tea/coffee] was followed by Veg Soup [with breadsticks & butter]. Lunch was at 12:00PM sharp [Fried Rice, rotis/parathas, dal, chicken curry, salad, curd & ice cream]. They’ll wake you up at 4:00 PM sharp so that you can enjoy your sunset over a cup of coffeer/tea with a couple of biscuits. Evening snacks [veg sandwich, samosa & mango juice] would soon be served. Veg soup with breadsticks came before a nice hot dinner [Fried Rice, rotis/parathas, dal, chicken curry, salad, curd & gulab jamun]. Our coupes were cleaned at regular intervals & room fresheners & mosquito repellents were also being sprayed. A 27 hour trip was cut short by such gala feast & all prices were inclusive in my AC Sleeper ticket worth Rs 1,800.

The connecting train from Pune to Goa was living up to expectation. We had rats running around & german cockroaches merrily travelling without ticket in AC sleeper. The idea of hiring a car for our to & fro journey from Pune was thrown out of window as Rs 20,000 was too high for a budget tour.

Winters is the peak season with the largest footfall recorded in Goa. Foreigners, who have their ass frozen in Europe & in States during this season, find Goa to be a perfect place where they can get their colors changed & add some Vitamin D from the largest store available. Truly speaking they are an eye candy, much similar to the attraction zoos have when there are migratory birds in winters. They have their gala time enjoying bike rides wherever & whenever. Compared to European Motorways, they need not wear any gears & can change lanes and honk at their own will. This must be one good reason they hire a bike for over a month & travel to anywhere they want, even crossing state borders checking on Karnataka forests. I have a mixed experience of castles in Europe. Even a ruin shall be tagged as a tourist spot & 10 GBP was the standard entry price. I don’t think even the best of forts in Rajasthan charges Rs 800 as entry fee for the foreigners. On the contrary forts & churches in Goa were absolutely free. This surely makes them a happy lot.

The Sun might be turning them red during the daytime. But who shall take over at night? Yes, who else. Our very own red hot fiery Goan & Konkani spices. The restaurants serve almost 50% less spicy foods to the foreigners which make them swoon. I wonder what would have happened to them if they were served a Xacuti with the exact amount of spice my friend Sourabh likes. A flamethrower is the closest I can imagine of them  But I love it when they enjoy India, it does make me proud. They really find a pleasure in eating the most exotic things they can find. So the boys serving would bring raw fishes like King fish, pomfrets, tiger prawns, huge size crabs & baby sharks on a dish & ask for a choice. Once it was displayed in front of us, none of them were having fishes that night :P


Day 1 started off with the bad news that Neha was unable to join us because of a hairline fracture. Sourabh was to join us post lunch as the rich man who has recently returned from China was taking a flight from a town closest to his native place (which till date is not on an official Indian map). We hired a WagonR from Margaon railway station. Lesson to be learnt here is: whenever you are in Goa go for a car & bike rental from an authorized dealer where you would get it cheaper & with lesser fuss.

Taking NH17 it was a 55kms drive to Calangute. This is where, we were going to camp. This place got its name from Hindu Goddess Kali, worshipped by the fisher folk. There was a temple in the area of Motth. It is famous for its beach, largest in North Goa & is thronged by numerous foreign tourists. Travelling was hectic with the Sun beating down at approx 30 degrees with immense humidity. Prachi had a good hands on training on the SLR Soumik had bought. Subject was immaterial. Dropping our luggage & after freshening up my English friends Kari & Prachi took us for breakfast where we had omelette cheese & bacon & 2 slices of bread.

We were happy to see our 2BHK flat we have pre-booked. Thanks to Kari, that was a wonderful search. A 1500 sq ft carpet area fully furnished flat with tv, sofas, kitchen (utensils & freezer also available) & running hot water was a pleasure. It had a balcony viewing a resort swimming pool & not to say we had a feast for our eyes. The bungalow was mere 2mins walk from the beach.

Contact details: Fillipe Fernandes. Koito-House,h.no.5/212, near hotel paradise village or hotel casa de goa,maddo-vaddo,calangute bardez,goa,india.Phn no: 08322281137,9822183903.

The destination next was India’s 5th largest falls, the Dudh Sagar falls, a four tiered waterfall with a total height of 310 meters (1017 feet) and an average width of 30 meters (100 feet). This is a must see if you are in Goa. Driving through NH4A, touching Old Goa & Ponda we reached Colem railway station. Here we had to drop our car & hire a Wildlife licensed vehicle. Soon we came to know why it was required. It was the roughest terrain I have ever experienced. 8kms & 45mins ride to the falls from the base costs Rs 2,100 per vehicle. Apart from the bumpy ride it was some experience to cross the 3 small rivulets where the jeep needs to cross it in a single go. Any decrease in speed can cause in a breakdown leaving you in cold flowing water. As per our driver just after monsoon when the route opens, they have 6 feet of water in the rivulet. So when the jeeps speed through it you can see nothing & just hear the flowing water all over you in the closed jeep. One blip & you are dragged away with the current. & to make you more comfortable there is a list displayed with the names of people who have gone missing in the stream.

After leaving the jeep we had to walk for another kilometer to reach the base of the falls which lie high up in the Mandovi River & mark the border for Goa & Karnataka. A nice place for a photo stop. Prachi & Soumik our very own Humpty & Dumpty had 2 great falls each on the big black boulders which were polished by the free flowing water of the falls which don’t dry up even in summers. We got lucky as we were in time to catch the sight of a train going downhill. The railway tracks are held on pillars over a flowing Dudh Sagar. But we were not so lucky to catch an uphill train which gets pulled by SIX engines for that stretch. MOLLEM FOREST DEPT : +91 0832 2612211. The Falls are approachable by road maintained by Goa Forest Department, which are closed in rainy season. The roads are open from month of October.

We drove back to Margaon, dropped the car & picked up 2 Hero Honda Activa one 150cc Pulsar. Mr Jain had been waiting for us for couple of hours & the most talkative guy; I have met, never wasted any time. He has picked his prey & enjoyed the bheja fry of the bike owner. The poor fellow now was aware of Chinese food habits, politics & places. Even he was shown pictures of reptiles which Chinese eat, courtesy our very own Chinese guide. Unfortunately rest of us had to pay for it. As discussed with the guy he was supposed to charge us for tow & half days. Instead he charged us 3 full days as he had to spend 2 hours with Sourabh.

Driving back 55kms on scooty, riding as a pillion for Kari was fun. Night was what we were waiting for. Our tables arranged right on the sea beach. The darkness & candle lights were the perfect stage for us raising our spirits high. I don’t recollect how much chicken we had killed but spirits were free flowing. A pan flavored hukka added a wonderful aroma. Rounds of the game of pool right on the beach was a fun add-on.


Day 2 started with people going to bed.. So it was left to me & Kari for a morning stroll on the beach. Not to my surprise I found only a handful of people on the beach awaiting a nice soothing sunrise. Me, being someone from the eastern part of the country has always been to beaches on the eastern fringes like Digha & Puri in Odissa. The entire crowd would be on the beach to catch the mesmerizing view of the Fire Ball coming out of the Bay of Bengal. It’s such a breathtaking view to watch the vastness of the ocean change its color in accordance to the Sun’s rising altitude. But Goa being on the western part of the country & its eastern part guarded by other state borders had no beaches nearby for such an experience. However a fresh cool air after a night’s blast & an old buddy by my side made it special. Now it was time for bed  However when I woke up the Lord Sun was in his full glory beating down on the people of Goa who are totally night creatures. With temperatures soaring we opted to stay back inside with some chilled lager quenching our thirst.

The Agauda fort was constructed in 1612 to guard against the Dutch and the Marathas. It was a reference point for the vessels coming from Europe at that time. This old Portuguese fort stands on the beach south of Candolim, at the shore of the Mandovi river. It was initially tasked with defense of shipping and the nearby Bardez District. During the Salazar Administration, Fort Aguada was repurposed for use as a prison primarily, some claim, for Salazar's political opponents. Many of its inmates are Western tourists serving time for drug-related crimes. This was the historical data for Agauda fort. But its present significance is getting a Dil Chahta Hai pose. Though the panorama of the fort itself is awesome, but its main attraction is the 3 blocks in the rampart overlooking the Arabian Sea where Amir, Saif & Akhsya had the cover photo of their movie. Of course we had our own version shot. The fort though free, closes at 5:30PM, so we were running through the fort getting our postcards. The confident wrong information that the fort closes at 7:30PM in the evening was from our very own Sourabh’s bade bhai (Big Brother), who was serving at a restaurant where we had our lunch. Sourabh knew this restaurant & this person from his previous visit. We had our Goan curry of King fish, pomfret & tiger prawns. Food was delicious.

Anjuna is world famous for its trance parties held on the beach during the tourist season. It also hosts the famous flea market wherein you can purchase many things ranging from fruits to jewelry, clothes and electronic devices. But our intention to go to Anjuna beach was to catch the Sun go down in the crystal clear water with the waves lashing on to the rocky beach. Unfortunately we ran out of fuel. So, me & Kari had to turn half way & travel almost 4kms to get to a petrol pimp. When we finally reached Anjuna it was dark. We found our 3 other mates making their way back from the rocky edges of the sea which was fast approaching the shore. The rage for the first time looked scary.

The road to Anjuna is completely dark with no street lights. So it was always a good option to get back to safe beaches of Candolim. This was a bit away from the madding crowd. It was a full moon & for the first time we were sitting on the cool sand. It was almost a full moon. We decided to sit away from the shacks from where we could hear a sweet soft music & the bright moonlight reflected from the relatively calm Arabian Sea in the pitch darkness. Not to mention the spirit which added onto the special relaxation level.

The dinner made me super happy. Being a Bengali eating fish has been genetic. But a shark? Yes, how could I miss it. So now I am having a good list of fishes ticked off. We returned to our room at 1:00AM, but not to retire. Our evening continued till 4:30AM in the morning. Base was the veranda from where we could hear the sea. We revised our good old friendship days & shared the funny moments and incidents we have experienced when we missed each other.

A warning for those who keep their doors & windows open during the evening in Goa: You get shark sized blood sucking mosquitoes who attack you when you are in dark & in senses where you can only feel an elephant kicking you (of course you know when this happens!!).

Day 3 breakfast was a nice cup of coffee & paratha. We decided to visit the churches of Old Goa. But when have things gone according to plan? So once we returned after a short stint of shopping, the Arabian Sea wanted to see us for one last time on this trip. We couldn’t say a no. Me, who is immensely scared of water & no lesson in swimming, found myself in the sea, fighting waves. Obviously she got the better of me & after 3-4 choke slams, it made me tap out. Again someone who has been to beaches of Digha & Puri shall find the Goa sea a very calm counterpart. Compared to the 6-7 feet waves crashing on you at about 50 meters from the shore, Arabian sea would lash you with 2-3 feet ones. Shacks were a much better option. Sipping on chilled beverage & catching a glimpse of the people enjoying the salty water made me happy. 20 minutes in the sea meant 30mins under the shower to get the sand off me. That was pretty bad.

With time running out as we needed to catch our train at 5:00, we started our best balancing act. All luggages on the scooties & bikes we started our way back on a 55km long road. The road somehow had become more beautiful, when we were on the bikes. I would advice a bike ride over a car if you are in Goa. The roads are so breathtakingly scenic. If not, then get an open hood one, preferably a gypsy. The train journey back to Pune was obviously painful. Both physically & mentally. We all knew we had no clue when we shall meet the next time, which made it all bitter.

Day 4 was time to say a Good Bye. But not before we had a breakfast in Good Luck in Pune. My first experience of café where glass of bournevita was served. Of course our group has crank heads who opts for this. As per the Puneri girls Kari & Prachi I opted for THE SPECIAL IRANI CHAI of the café. It was hot water & a tea bag of Goodricke, total disaster for a not so tea loving person. There after the roads parted & I came back to my daily chores with a heavy heart.

Goa may be one of the best destinations for tourists, but it is friends who make it a place to visit. Work, family & other commitments may keep us parted, but I do always have you in the special corner of my heart which is responsible for the facial expression called a SMILE. Neha – We missed you. Thanks a lot guys, you are precious.


Courtesy,
A.B

Enough!

Another attack. Another round of chaos. Another day of doom on the city's calendar.


Some more lives lost. Some more injured. Some more families devastated. Some more futures wiped out.

Failure of law. Failure of order. Failure of politics. Failure of intel teams and 'special' squads. Failure of emergency services. Failure to put a gun to their heads and just shoot the bastards responsible.

Heroes arising yet again from within the common man. The common man who's watched this happen so many times he knows the drill better than the official ops teams. The common man who weeps for his losses, picks up the pieces and goes about rebuilding his life. Just like he did the last time around.

Salutes will be given to the spirit of Mumbai. The spirit of India. The spirit of the common man. That’s all we get left with in the end - salutes and sympathies - the only alternative to an actual solution.


So buck up Mumbai...rebuild what you've lost and you'll surely earn those salutes from the top brass.


Unless....you're actually fed up enough to want to put an end to this. To be able to go out of your house and know for sure that you and your loved ones will be safe. To look around at the city that's been your home and not hurt at the amount of hits and losses it takes...year after year...time after time.

Is there anything that can be done to stop this from happening again? Probably not. But can we atleast try to find a proactive solution instead of a reactive one? Can we wake up from the stupor induced by hunger fasts and hidden temple gold and who's-dating-whom to focus on the real issues faced by our country? Hasn't enough innocence been lost already? When will it finally be enough to satisfy the sadistic thirst of terrorism?